Multiracial female couple of friends lying on the grass

Top 5 reasons smart women pick their friends wisely

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110_F_46496733_wLyduM9WHYflSMVFpQyJ4FBiUsAjwLPiFriends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones you can depend on…Friends! Oh friends, I have seen them come and go.  I would consider myself a great friend.  Mainly because I find it difficult to juggle too many friends at once, thus giving me the chance to deeply cultivate the ones I do have.  A true friendship is one that is beneficial for both individuals and involves a lot of give and take. I would say for the most part, I have had some great close friends and not so great “friends.”  I have compiled some reasons as to why it is important that you learn to choose your friends wisely.

5.  Your business stays your business.  This old saying is the truth:  If your friend will talk with you about somebody, they will talk about you with somebody.  What makes you think that some one you “run it” with will not go behind your back and tell your business?  It can be masked as the person telling another’s business, but attempts to turn it into them giving said friend “constructive advice” all the while behind that friends back.  We have all done it before.  Gossiped about somebody because we just had to tell someone, but would end it with “yea girl I hope she gets it together,” kind of thing.  It is still gossip and should be avoided.  You have too much to do besides being someone’s trash dump.  If you can get together with a friend and get the tea or run it, you best believe that friend will tell others about your issues.  A person that loves to hear gossip loves to gossip.  Watch for those things.

4.  Jealousy-If you are a woman and have never encountered a frenemy you need to reevaluate your life because you are not doing something right.  This is the friend that you can instantly click with, and as this “friend” gets to know you more and get an inside view of your life, their eyes begin to get green.  It starts gradually with them eyeing things you have and masking them as compliments.  Then it turns to slick hate type things.  Then it turns to them being nonchalant when you tell them great news.  Then it turns into them only telling you bad things about yourself.  I have encountered this on occasion and did not recognize these signs at first, but in retrospect the signs were there.

3. You are the sum total of your closest friends- Take a look at 5 of your friends.  You are the sum total of those individuals.  You spend a substantial amount of time with these people and possibly pick up on their habits-good and bad.  What kind of people do you have around you.  Are they ambitious go-getters or are they underachieving dreamers?  This is important because if you want to get somewhere in life, you must evaluate who you have in your circle.  Sometimes people can unintentionally (and intentionally) hold you back.

2.  You will only go as far as them-This is important rule as it suggests that in life you will only go as far as your friends.  It is akin to the saying “birds of a feather flock together.  When we get friends we attract people that have similar interests, personality, etc.  This is a good and bad thing.  It can be a good thing if the people have more admirable characteristics or personality than not.  For example, becoming friends with a person that has an ambitious nature can be beneficial because you will most likely want to become a little mover and shaker yourself to keep up.  If you have more friends that cannot stay committed to things that improve their lives it is actually a reflection of you and things you have going on within you.  Now this is not to say that you can’t have one slacker type friend because most people need time to figure out who they are and what they want.  But if you have more underachieving friends than not, you should conduct a self evaluation and see why you are attracted to those types.

1.  They will have your back-This is a no brainer.  This is the person you can call for $10 dollars for gas and they won’t clown you.  You can call them for money for food and they won’t tell everybody.  You can tell them about your dreams and aspirations and they will give you helpful advice.  This friend will encourage you to move forward in life, and wholeheartedly believe it.

Do you agree with this list?  Please comment.

Written by

My name is Robinette and I love cupcakes, cakes, and donuts! I am a follower of Christ, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I believe my life’s purpose is to empower women by inspiring them to rise to optimal living, hence the blog. I believe that I am already a success because I am following my dreams and on track to my life’s purpose and what to see other women do the same. I will share my life’s lessons and the wisdom I have gained from it using my signature humor…Ok I’m not that funny.
  • Devona B. Matthews

    I agree with u 1000%!!!!!!! I’ve experienced every last one of these!!!! Keep up the GREAT WORK!!!

    • robinlove08

      Girl thanks! I have experienced it too. Thats why I can write about it, unfortunately lol

  • BigsisKim

    This is really good. I’m 30 and just figuring this stuff out….smh. Keep em coming!

    • robinlove08

      Ha ha Kimmy, you live and you learn girl..SN is your screen name Big Sis Kim? lol so cute

  • Robert Love

    This is soooo true!! Preach girl.

    • robinlove08

      Aw thanks Robert!

  • marchel walker

    This is the truth!! I love this fam!!

    • robinlove08

      Aw thanx cuz lol

  • I agree with all of those! I am glad you wrote this and wish that more women would read and internalize this list. I really wish that more people would understand that it’s okay to let friends go when you’ve outgrown each other or when they are toxic. It may hurt or feel bad, but if letting go of someone who’s not good for your life leads you to find people who are better, why hold on? You’re only blocking yourself from more growth and better relationships when you hold on. Great post and keep them coming!

    • robinlove08

      Yes girl! Sometimes you have to let people go. And it don’t mean that they are bad people all the time, but you have to do what is best for you. Thanx girly and will check you and Tea out this week lol

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Hi! My name is Robinette.

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I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.

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