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The Starring Role In Your Life Is Not For The Extras!

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Starring Role

Ladies, how many times have we given an extra the starring role in our life? I mean without really getting to know him and thinking to ourselves “he is nice, he must be the one for me.”  Or maybe we don’t actually say it, be we act as if he is very early on.  Ever notice that often times it goes down hill from there? Lol.

Allow me to break it down:

Women, by nature are nurturers of others and generous in giving of ourselves to those dear to our hearts…. That is a great thing that God instilled in us to care  for our babies, but if used improperly can cause us a lot of heartache and heartbreak.  For example, our strong nurturing instincts, if not used properly will cause us to stay in an unhealthy situation.  We will hover around for days for a dead plant’s (relationship) resurrection…..I think this can fit in being on the dating scene and many of us are guilty of giving an extra the starring role in our life.

I know of women, myself included, who would treat just about every guy we dated (and liked AND sometimes I didn’t like them THAT much) as husband material when they were not deserving of that type of treatment.  This would tie into women not having a relaxed approach when it comes to dating.  We are so bombarded with pressure to find someone AND also the issue is mainly because we lack something in ourselves.

So we look for it in others and think that by treating a person, any person, as such we would receive what we want.  I know it is right to do unto others….but I think that only applies if what you are giving comes from a pure place.

I can remember in my life when I would go out with a guy and become so enthralled in what he was giving.  Now some might say that they was just running game, true, but in order for that to happen you have to have a willing participant–which I probably was but anyhoo!

 I would treat the guys good-cook, sex, just do stuff I shouldn’t have….And what I realized later in retrospect is that I wasn’t really that into them, I really just wanted somebody and what they were giving.  That’s some lonely s***!  What I’ve come to realize is that I was giving an extra the starring role in my life because I just wanted somebody, hell anybody, to fill that void of not truly loving myself.

If you think about it, in Hollywood when directors are casting for a starring role in a movie they look for the perfect person for the role and do not settle until they find who they are looking for.  The extra roles are easy to fill and basically anybody can fill those roles.  The starring actor gets the trailer and perks.  The extras just sit on the set and wait for the star to come on set so they can begin filming.

Become a sort of director of your life.  Of course God should lead your life, but He gives us free reign in decision making.  So with that freedom requires a keen skill of discernment.  This advice applies to men as well.  Be more stringent in your requirements for people-men, to be in your life and enjoy your success! Let the starring role in your life be from perfect casting.

Written by

My name is Robinette and I love cupcakes, cakes, and donuts! I am a follower of Christ, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I believe my life’s purpose is to empower women by inspiring them to rise to optimal living, hence the blog. I believe that I am already a success because I am following my dreams and on track to my life’s purpose and what to see other women do the same. I will share my life’s lessons and the wisdom I have gained from it using my signature humor…Ok I’m not that funny.
  • Ty Wilson

    Unfortunately some lessons only come with age; older women with kids and grandkids in some cases, don’t make time for the extras anymore. When you’re looking to get married, I mean seriously looking to spend the rest of your life with someone, and not just have a wedding, you will take casting much more seriously.

    Until then I say have fun, cook, go all out…with the understanding that that’s all he will ever want from you, food, fun and…all out. lol

    • Yea it does suck that you have to age to learn those hard lessons lol

  • This is so on point! Know what you want in a man/relationship, what you’ll accept/not accept, stick to your guns (within reason…champagne, strawberries, and chocolate fondue every morning, may be a bit of a reality stretch lol) and require it from him. You’ll automatically see if he’s The One. If he is, he’ll happily provide what you want/need. If he’s not, he’ll do you a favor by leaving the set. Some people, like you said, are just extras.

    • Girl, you really have a way with words! Yea, but it is important to know what you want, but to keep it within reason. Lol at the chocolate fondue every morning…so I can’t have that? 0;-P

  • Awesome blog post…Loved it! Thanks for sharing!

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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