“I’m the realest dude you know.”
Chile if I had a penny for every time I heard this escape a guys’ lips when I was younger. I have learned that this can be attributed to a certain street cred, or whatever it is they go by. It doesn’t necessarily translate into how they treat others. But as I grew older I have learned that being real is necessarily just that. How you treat others. The ability to treat others with respect, in front of and especially behind their back matters. When you come to the table and have good intentions for someone else, matters. But how do we attract people that are not going to have us looking crazy outchea’ in dese streets lol? A lot of times when we get tied up in someone that claimed to be real and found out they were faker than a $3 dollar bill, we failed to recognize the signs of a real one. And it’s not always that we fail to recognize the signs, but we really don’t know what they are. I always say the simplest way to know if a guy is who he says he is, does he call back when he said he will. A damn phone call is free. We as women make too many excuses for the men that we have in our space. It is time to start creating space for the real ones to come into our lives. Here is how to spot them.
4. He is consistent. It’s simple. Guy meets girl, and he is instantly infatuated with her. He is calling ALL THE DAMN TIME and always answers when she calls. They stay on the phone for hours and hours and the woman thinks they are building a connection. He buys flowers, little gifts and does the most. Then the woman catches feelings, which is completely normal. Then, for whatever reason, maybe they had sex too soon for his liking or he sees that he was able to get her to like him, and he looses interest. Girl can see the interest dwindling down by less phone calls and time spent together until he eventually goes…GHOST. Girl then sees what it was and then moves on with her life. Here is the trick part: It is at this very moment that the guy comes back with some excuse as to why he dipped out like a Houdini’s intern. And what happens a lot is the girl takes him back and it is a back and forth thing. One thing I have learned is that love will be consistent. It is not going to keep you guessing and wondering where you stand. If someone is taking you through this, it is them….AND your ass. It’s them because they have some fear-whether it is fear of love, fear of something better coming along, etc. But it is something that have nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t wreck your brain trying to figure it out. It is also you because you have to wonder why and the hell are you attracted to someone that is unsure of you. You should love yourself more to know that you deserve the absolute best. And nothing less.
3. He helps you in a bind. You have a flat tire, he can come put your donut on. Do you need money for a new tire? He covers that, because you don’t have it. What I am saying is, he won’t leave you hanging. The way you can see where you stand with a guy is to pick up the phone, call him right now and ask him for a favor. That is how you know.
2. Your safety is important. When he drops you off from a date, he is not speeding off to the corner of the next bish lol. He texts you occasionally to make sure you got home ok. He just wants to be a protector, but not be overbearing.
1. He does what he says he will do. Call back? He did or will text (at least). Going out on a date, HE WILL NOT CANCEL, especially the first few dates. Unless he is having a real serious issue, a guy will not cancel a date. He will remember a date, you won’t have to call him to confirm. Please don’t ever do that. If he says he got you on something, he will remember.
Well, ladies take this list that is tried and true from my trials and error. Of course, there are many different scenarios, but you be the judge. Oh before I forget! Make sure you are a real one yourself. It is hard to spot a real one if you are not absolutely in love with yourself. When you don’t love yourself, you let others drag you through the mud. That’s truth.com boo.