Are the decisions that you make in life the best for you (and your family) or most pleasing to others? Are you afraid to say “no” in fear of disappointing someone close to you or even someone who is not close to you. Do you ALWAYS do what makes others happy only to deplete yourself of that treasure?
God created us to be nurturers. This is important because we need these special instincts to care for our family. We are probably born with a people pleasing button that some women learn to strike a healthy balance with–knowing when to say yes, and when to say no. For the rest of us, we have a hard time putting ourselves first. It is important to put ourselves first, because who else is responsible for our happiness. And putting yourself first is not about being a selfless, heartless person. It is simply about making the best decisions for your life, so you can live your best life possible and be able to really help others. Here are some ways you can begin to do you, boo!
5. Refuse to let others steal your joy- Scenario: You ever had someone like a co-worker, or classmate just tell you something real slick? Worst of all, it caught you off guard and you didn’t have your usual quick comeback line. Quite often what happens next is endless hours of analyzing what should have been done or said to that person with your friends. What one must realize is that there is nothing you can do about it simply because what is done is done. What should not continue is your letting that negative situation take you from a happy place. Often times when others are snappy with you, that comes from a negative place, so avoid stepping there with them. Remember…Misery loves company.
SN: If you still insist on being petty, just act snotty with them the next time you see them….that’ll learn em.
4. (Not) Wearing whatever the hell you want- It’s an epidemic of biblical proportions. Ok, its not that bad but still. I know that there have been trends since the beginning of time, but why is it that people only begin to wear the things they have been wanting to wear when others begin to wear it? I have been guilty of this. I would think of a particular style and would say “Oh, that would be nice to wear.” But, would refuse to step out for fear a ridicule–>something that would jeopardize my happiness. It is only recently that I have realized that I’ve hurt myself more by not doing what it is that I want to do. I have let others decide to make me happy, by being pleasing to them and not stepping out the box.
3. Not letting others dictate your happiness- The day I realized that only I can decide to be happy or not was the day I became a happy woman. Ok, so it wasn’t that instant but I was now responsible because I was aware…I now had knowledge of this concept–something I actually didn’t really learn as a youngster– and because of this realization, if I decided to be unhappy it was completely my fault. I had looked to others and things such as men and chocolate, respectfully, to fill a void that was my responsibility to figure out how to fill.
2. Stop settling for less in a relationship- Oh, gosh lol! I have been the side chick, the FWB, I think I have even been the Side FWB lol! This all happened unbeknownst to my green ass. On the surface level I wanted a man who would be caring, providing, loyal to me etc, but what I accepted totally contradicted my desires. I know this is probably easier said than done, but you must be clear about what it is that you want, identify your true needs, and seek it. Set boundaries and flourish.
1. Decide to chase after that dream- What is it that you really want to do? Become a singer, actress, writer, dancer, CEO of some crazy venture? The day you decide to do it is when you become it. What is it that keeps you back from pursuing it? As you get older, it is often not the things that you tried and failed at that you will regret, but the things you did not try that will fill you with grief. Chasing after a dream is hardwork, but it is also fulfilling.
Do you agree with this list? How Do You “Do You?”