I've never felt like my body was my own.
Allow me to explain. Ever since I can damn remember I was taught that how I dress, how my appearance is, hair, face, body looks is all to appease a man. To snag a man. Being at a man's discretion. As if women have no power and that we all have to fight for attention of one bum ass man lol. I have had men just straight up feel like they were entitled to the pleasures of my body and to be in the presence of my beauty. Yea, I said beauty lol. But seriously, if y'all are chilling and he wants to try and you say no. Then he tries again like 5 mins later. It's like, how dare I say no or maybe she didn't mean NO no? Yes, this happens and often (not to me anymore). I've always felt like a piece of meat almost. How damaging is that to young girls to feel this way? That all of our end goals is to get a man. Eat cornbread to get thick cuz Brandon likes ass lol. Relax your damn hair, because some men don't like natural hair.
Or when you are single it is "always make sure you look good when you are going out because you never know when you will meet a man." Or the mindset I had as a non-committed woman going to the gym. If I'm single, you can't keep me out the gym. My tits must be perky (well as much as they can get lol) and my ass motto: You can never do too many squats! I think I spent the majority of my time working my ass out lol. But guess what happened when I got a man? I stopped going to the gym and gained 20 pounds. Like, to hell with my health I's got a man now! Nothing else matters! Goal accomplished!
You see the problem with that? Allow me to break it down. If you don't do shit for yourself, it will fall away at the wayside easily. Your appearance should not be tied into receiving male attention and getting a man. It should be because you want to do it. You want to look good and your health is a top priority. Because guess what happens if you don't get that attention. You began to question yourself.
"Bish, I got my sew in with my Peruvian Wave, my face is beat, I've been working out non-stop for 2 weeks straight, and my outfit is on point. I know he seen me and still not hitting me up."
It's a hard realization to know that you can be someone who is known for being "confident" but that you been faking the damn funk. I appreciate looking good and attention is nice, please don't get me wrong, but I have had to make some personal adjustments in my motives. It is time that I do things for me and do it my way. Not for the approval of others.