Sex, Salmon and Situationships

Hello Monday-My Body Is My Own

I've never felt like my body was my own. "Girl, whet?" Allow me to explain. Ever since I can damn remember I was taught that how I dress, how my appearance is, hair, face, body looks is all to appease a man. To snag a man.  Being at a man's discretion. As if women have no power and that we all have to fight for attention of one bum ass man lol. I have had men just straight up feel like they were entitled to the pleasures of my body and to be in the presence of my beauty. Yea, I said beauty lol. But seriously, if y'all are chilling and he wants to try and you say no. Then he tries again like 5 mins later. It's like, how dare I say no or maybe she didn't mean NO no? Yes, this happens and often (not to me anymore). I've always felt like a piece of meat almost.  How damaging is that to young girls to feel this way? That all of our end goals is to get a man. Eat cornbread to get thick cuz Brandon likes ass lol. Relax your damn hair, because some men don't like natural hair. Or when you are single it is "always make sure you look good when you are going out because you never know when you will meet a man." Or the mindset I had as a non-committed woman going to the gym. If I'm single, you can't keep me out the gym. My tits must be perky (well as much as they can get lol) and my ass motto: You can never do too many squats! I think I spent the majority of my time working my ass out lol. But guess what happened when I got a man? I stopped going to the gym and gained 20 pounds. Like, to hell with my health I's got a man now! Nothing else matters! Goal accomplished! You see the problem with that? Allow me to break it down. If you don't do shit for yourself, it will fall away at the wayside easily. Your appearance should not be tied into receiving male attention and getting a man. It should be because you want to do it. You want to look good and your health is a top priority. Because guess what happens if you don't get that attention. You began to question yourself. "Bish, I got my sew in with my Peruvian Wave, my face is beat, I've been working out non-stop for 2 weeks straight, and my outfit is on point. I know he seen me and still not hitting me up." It's a hard realization to know that you can be someone who is known for being "confident" but that you been faking the damn funk. I appreciate looking good and attention is nice, please don't get me wrong, but I have had to make some personal adjustments in my motives. It is time that I do things for me and do it my way. Not for the approval of others. Muah!


I am always sitting around and thinking hard, so this past weekend, my mind was spinning with epiphanies. via GIPHY I realized that I never really did things for myself or somewhere along the way, self-care was put on the back burner. I discussed this in my last blog post, but I still have a desire to write about it. Another thing I realize is that I have a chameleon like personality. Meaning that whatever environment I am in, I adapt to it. Which can be a good thing, but on the other hand, not so much. I am an Empath. I take on others feelings and moods and adopt them as my own. I especially noticed this with the men in my life. Whatever their personality is, I take on bits and pieces of it. And not in a "yes girl" sort of way, but just that I feel feelings so deeply, that it is hard not to flow unto me. So can you guess what happens here? Oh lets see: Loss of identity. When you become so intertwined with someone else, you kinda lose sight of the things that interest you and your goals. You are stuck up under bae, while your goals are collecting dust. I honestly don't know why this happens. Maybe it is an insecurity I have that needs to be addressed, but addressed it is. Also, I realized this weekend as I spoke with a friend is that we wasted so much of our 20's being boy crazy. Wondering when we would get "chose." Just craving that male attention because of a void that so desperately needed to be filled. We should have filled it on our own. There is no way in the world the idea of whether a guy liked me or not should have consumed my inner workings most urgently. In my early twenties friends were: Baby mommas, myself included, being cheated on and taking him back, cosigning for things, and on and on and on. And this is not to diss relationships! Relationships are beautiful things. I'm just making an observation of how young we were and worried about the wrong things. Men do not worry about the things that we worry about. As little girls we would imagine our wedding and our dress. We would do anything to get to the point and almost anyone fits that bill as long as they show some sort of promise. I am getting away from this. I want to care, but I also want to care more about the person who has been down for me forever and forever will be. The person who always has my back and is always there. That person is my damn self. It is imperative to put yourself first. How can you truly love and care for others from an empty well? It is time to replenish myself, so I can care for others. Muah!  


I'm sitting here wondering, "why haven't I taken my seat at the M'fing table?" You know that damn seat where you just take and not ask if anyone is sitting here? And if someone was sitting there, oh the hell well, I'm here now and my ass sits better in this seat? This is a very tough question to ask yourself. Why am I underemployed with degrees and intelligence out the ass? Or for you it may be grabbing the crumbs he drops for you in the relationship, or letting people handle you any kind of way? Why is it some women aren't afraid to take that seat and many women are too timid to claim what is theirs? Where is she? The old Robinette that used to keep it popping? Idk, maybe that was all in my head, but nonetheless, a very worthwhile question. I have been feeling quite "BLAH" lately. Not bad blah, but certainly not that juicy feel I used to get from life. Kind of like something is missing sort of feel. Shoes, clothes nor travel cures it. It's like that spark that gets you up everyday, y'all I haven't been living, rather just coexisting in the world of billions. Feeling like I blend in, when I have been destined to stand out. To be honest, I've been feeling very average since becoming a mom and my ego cannot handle it. My ego is like: Bish, do you know who the "eff" you are? Like seriously, I cannot with you all this time. Underestimating your damn self and not taking your seat at the M'fing table. I am about to go and be another chicks ego because you are blowing me." The crazy thing is although I want to stand out with my gifts and talents, I have been afraid. Because me using my gifts and talents require a certain level of boldness and confidence that I have been severely lacking in. Like I can't do it. Im still under the umbrella of my parents although my dad has passed on. I realized that in order to step out, I am on my own. I have to put myself on front street and possibly be rejected! Why do I still feel like 17 year old Robinette that was not sure of herself and her dopeness? Or I can't accomplish these beautiful ass dreams that I have. My confidence lately has not been the strongest. To be honest, it hasn't been in some time. I have gained a couple of extra sexy pounds lol and its been easier to get out the house because I don't put as much effort in. I just think of my old days of how I would dress up any where I would go. It's like life has worn me down and I am feeling it. I don't feel that extra sexiness and umph that I used to have. Self-care has become my son care, my bf care, money care, bill care, car care and I am last. I have failed to fill up in the self-care lane and am running on E. I am searching for answers on the outside, but I know that the answers won't come from there.  I now see the importance of putting yourself first. The truth is that I have everything that I need to get things accomplished and being better than I once was. I don't have to look back and you shouldn't either. There is nothing behind you but space and lost chances. What is before you is new and better opportunities. Also, it is ok to be afraid. Have you ever felt like this? Afraid to step out? You think that you don't have the skills to be accomplished? Or that others are more talented so why bother? Then only to sit on the side lines and watch 1 year pass and then 2 years and so forth? Let me make this clear to you: Declare this day that you will do it anyway. That it is ok to feel fear, but you don't have to feed into it. God has given us too many dreams and He has equipped us with the gifts/talents to get the goals accomplished. Don't look in someone else's lane! You have to focus on you and your goals and the people you need to reach. Muah!

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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