Your Vagina Is Not A Portal For Love, Your Heart Is: Teaching Your Daughters, Sisters, Nieces, Cousins and Friends

Oooh chile, I have been there. I have been taught that this is the crux of who I am...well that along with exterior beauty. That if I snatch it right, he will love me...if I do it often, he will love me and won't stray....if it gets wet enough, I don't have to worry about anything with us, all is well. Let's be honest, we all have received some bad advice from some well meaning women in our lives. "Don't let him give you a wet ass and dry pockets." LOL! Ok, so I understand what they were TRYING to say, but I also recognize that soooo much emphasis was put on a certain part of us. A part of our body. In a way it's objectification. I mean, what about the rest of me? My heart, my intelligence, my wittiness? And that's where so many girls get it wrong at. Not knowing all of these other wonderful things about themselves, they jump into sex WAYYYY before they are ready. Not because they really want to or know what the f*** they are doing, it's just that so much pressure is put on what we do with our bodies AND tie that into our relationship status. Even as a young girl, my friends and I were consumed with getting "Chose." And to our detriment, we learned (the hard way mind you) that the way to our heart is not through the vagina. And it damn sure isn't the way to his. But we would foolishly think that it is and go into the same scenario and get the same outcome. Confusion. Wayward d**k. I thought sex would lead to a commitment, tbh. But, oh no baby what is you doing?! We, as women, have been taught so much that what we do or decide not to do with our vaginas determine our worth. We are only labeled good girls if we keep it chaste. Bad girls, whores, hoes, slut, etc if we bed more than 1 in a lifetime. It's such a strange dichotomy in which we are praised for keeping the "good girl" image, yet on the other hand, sex sells. These strippers are raking it up! As a young girl, I can remember being taught that my worth is tied to my vagina. So naturally, as I began to deflower my damn self with the help of a cute young guy, I would feel less and less. (The guy would gain a stripe, I would gain a strike.) Because I was taught that's where my worth is, but what are these damn feelings I'm having? Aren't we responsible for making sure the guys like us? Well, according to society, many of a relationship's fails can often times fall on the woman. Sooo we must do whatever to ensure it's stability. Unbeknownst to us, our daughters, cousins, nieces etc are watching us. I would say to not instill in them that that is where there worth is. Yes, we learned it in church to hold onto our virginity, no shame in that, so long as no one is shaming someone that does decide to do it. Myself, friends, and family members have suffered from decisions in regards to their sexuality. Many women have been led astray to an adverse outcome that they hoped sex would bring them. Let's teach our young girls that they have worth and value in other places. Teach them whether they decide to abstain, or decide (after long thought and understanding of consequences) to become active, that they are both worthy. No one is better or less than the other because of their decisions. Most importantly, teach them that sex DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE. Your vagina is not a portal for love...your heart is. Muah!

Just A Thought

It feels as if I am finally getting some comfort and who I am as a person. I don't agonize over what others think of me as much. I take bold steps, even when afraid. I make my own decisions based off of what I feel is right for me. My 20's were a lot of learning and a lot of growing pains. But it was necessary. Diamonds are made from pressure.  I can't wait to see where this boldness will take me.   Muah!

Check Your Breasts! The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund

I recently attended The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund support group meeting and what an event it was! Breast Cancer is still an epidemic in our community, especially in terms of mortality. Learning the symptoms and being aware of changes in your body are the keys to early detection. Did you know that Breast cancer is more likely to be found at an earlier stage among white women than among black women? Overall, breast cancer incidence (rate of new cases) is slightly lower among black women than among white women. However, breast cancer mortality is higher in Black/African-American women. For example, from 2010-2014 (most recent data available), breast cancer mortality was 42 percent higher in black women than in white women. In addition, Black women are more likely than white women to get triple-negative breast cancer, a kind of breast cancer that often is aggressive and comes back after treatment. The work of the Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund is to spread awareness about breast cancer and making sure our community knows the importance of being up to date on our health. The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund's vision is to save lives and embrace and achieve a world community free of breast cancer. The Fund plans to realize this vision with guiding principles of respect, collaboration, quality and patient-centered care, culturally sensitive approaches, and evidence-based strategies. The organization's founder, Thelma D. Jones, a breast cancer survivor, fueled uncertainties about her diagnosis into making an impact on anyone who crosses her path. As a survivor, Ms. Jones responded to a life's calling and took on the responsibility of using her diagnosis to the greater good of her community and serving them in the best way possible: by educating others about their bodies. To speak about her personality, one of the kindest I have met and we are both Virgos, here to save the world! No wonder I felt an amazing kinship. A little more about The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund, "The TDJ Breast Cancer Fund offers programs to address a need in the community and for which there is a demonstrated demand that will complement rather than duplicate the existing work of other organizations. This involves collaborations with other individuals and organizations on a year-round basis. In addition, we offer services that meet vital community needs that will have a broad impact by especially benefitting the historically less-served communities. The overall ultimate goal of our programs and services remain to empower residents to live healthier, take charge of their lives and reduce the burden of breast cancer in our communities for women, men and young girls." Also, did you know that August is Black Philanthropy Month? That is another topic that was discussed in the meeting. Black Philanthropy Month was created in August 2011 by both Dr. Jackie Copeland-Carson and the Pan-African Women's Philanthropy Network as an annual, global celebration of African-descent giving. The theme for 2017 is: Giving Voice to Fuel Change.

Themes from previous years include:

2016: Elevating A Culture of Giving

2015: A Season of Change

2014: Generosity At Home and Around the Globe

2013: Of Dreams And Mountaintops

Also attending the meeting was Tracey Webb, organizer of Black Philanthropy Month. Ms. Webb is the founder of Black Benefactors, "a giving circle based in Washington, DC that provides grants and in-kind support to Black-led organizations serving the African American community." Mr. Edward Jones, Executive Committee Member of Black Benefactors, was also in attendance and presented acknowledgements. Finally, we did a moment of silence to honor the late Kecia Nobles, who passed away from Cancer. Her family was in attendance and her presence was absolutely felt in the room. The Thelma D. Jones Fund is a great organization to get behind. To support the fund contact Thelma Jones, Founder and Board Chair, via email at Muah!

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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