I Am a Conqueror

  Beauty For Sale "I am a conqueror and I don't accept defeat." I love Estelle's version, but that Jussie Smollet dude from Empire *hears harps** Those lyrics indicate how we should live our lives. Yes, the bad times come and make us want to give up, but we should understand that better days are coming. Don't give up. There have been many times, even now, where I am like "Can't take another day lol." My daddy, my best friend, the one person who has been in my corner 100 percent passed away a couple weeks ago. This was after watching him deteriorate in hospice for 8 months. It was hard and very lonely. It still is difficult. But I know one thing he instilled in me is tenacity and resilience. That defeat is not an option. Only greatness can and should prevail. But you have to keep looking forward, not backwards. And at the same time, being grateful for the present. In life you will get many curveballs. And you will wonder where that ish came from lol. Many times will come up where you have to get up and go about your day when you feel like staying in bed. Or even the days where you hate the mornings because you are so hurt. Nobody is going to get up for you. I mean yeah, you have friends and family that will help for awhile but at the end of the day it is up to you. It is up to you to say, I am not going to let this stop me or I am a success no matter what. Just get up. Do one thing that makes you happy and continue to do so. From there you will seek other things that make you happy. However, I do realize that sometimes things are not that simple. We all know your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You have a few positive thoughts and endless negative thoughts. What grows is the side you feed. Some people have a predisposition to mental illnesses through genetics, environment, etc and need to seek the help of a therapist and/or meds. (Please seek the help if this is you!!!) I am a proponent of this. Do not be ashamed, ever! But even if that is you, guess what? You are still responsible for your life. You are still the one that has to take those steps to beast this life out. It is possible. Conquer it.

How to get out of your own way

I haven't written in a long time. I guess it seems as if I'm afraid to dig deep. Afraid of what may come to surface. Fear of what I may find out about myself. Fear of what others may find out about me. I mean writing is a very intimate process! Sometimes, I guess, it can be the fact that I really don't feel like being that damn deep. But its necessary. However, the main reason my not wanting to write brings to light an issue I have and I'm sure many others can attest. That issue is an issue with consistency. A lack of consistency, I believe is a form of self sabotage. We want something so bad, but then we don't feel as if we are worthy of having it. So to make sure we don't get it, we do many big and little things to, simply put, Fuck it up. We'll say things like: "hey I want to work out more," then remember that nobody in the family is in shape, so why should you be? Or we'll say "I'm really enjoying this new guy I am dating, but I wonder, why is he into me? Surely a guy like him can do better. I mean, I'm a great chick in all, but what does he see in me? From there you proceed to fuck it up. AND I have a bad history of starting things and stopping because of some hidden fear. A fear so deep that I know its there, but I don't know why or how. I guess on the bright side, it can be a matter of me finding what I am interested in and discarding the things I am not interested in. But at some point in life, you want to get really good at something. The consistency thing is what separates the real from the fake. It brings to surface the reason why there are fewer "successful" people or those individuals that are considered experts in their fields. So how does one begin to heal the errors a lack of consistency brings, when all of our lives we lived by the procrastination code? Getting by with doing the least amount of work? How do we change something so destructive to our dreams when its so deeply embedded in us? I guess, awareness is a first step. When we can finally realize that it is our ass standing in our own way we can slowly move to the side. Nobody is holding us back. We are holding ourselves back trying to bring old negative beliefs into new positive situations.  Those old beliefs of someone telling us that we're stupid or that you can't do something. That follows us. But you don't have to become those things. You talk to yourself all day.  What are you saying? Better yet, what are you listening to? You want to follow your dreams and yet you pay more attention to the negative thoughts that are no longer true. You are not stupid, incompetent, just a woman, just a mom, too young, too black, not black enough, a slut, too broke, etc or whatever the hell you tell yourself. Listen to yourself and seek your truth. Your dreams are waiting for you!

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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