Looking back on life, I've always wondered why some things didn't work out.
Why doesn't his dusty ass still love me?
Why couldn't I relocate to DC when I first wanted to?
Why did my daddy have to die so soon?
Life will leave you with many questions and sometimes it will take years to answer, if at all. Yes, sometimes she (life) can be a bitch, respectfully. Refusing to go over the lessons with you, but doesn't mind dishing out that refresher course to help your ass remember.
But shit happens. Sometimes its fair, sometimes it's not. I do believe that it all works together. Simple things put big things in motion. Tiny steps get the momentum going on a big dream. The things that seemingly did not work out for you, actually do work out for you. To answer the questions I posed above, her are the answers that I've come up with after deep reflection.
It did not work out with him because it wasn't supposed to. He would have held me back from moving to the place that I will shine.
I wanted to move to DC in 2014, but the doors just would not open. Hell, the day I was set to leave to visit a couple of weeks was the day a big snow storm would hit. Cancelling all flights. Damn, I almost gave up on the dream...didn't know how it would come about. The major thing was my dad would end up having a massive stroke a couple of months later and needed my absolute care and concern. Those months I thought were wasted are now precious to me. It was my last months with him.
I bet if you looked back on your life you can see the times where you thought things were working against you, but when you look back, you can connect the dots. And I do understand that sometimes things happen that is just beyond our scope of understanding and it is difficult. I do not live in some fantasy world, but if you keep an open mind to change and accept it, you will travel with the flow of life.