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Walking Away, Letting Go

Walking Away, Letting Go

Black Girl Style I feel like a start a new life everyday.  Why? Because it seems like everyday I have to simply let things go that are not conducive to my growth.  Whether it be a dispute I had with someone, me messing something up or a relationship that is not best for me (not that I have a new one everyday).  I am learning to learn from it, keep walking and keep moving. For example, the other day one of my managers just blew on me for no reason.  I was like "damn Gina", and for a couple of minutes I contemplated telling them where and how they can kiss my ass, but then I thought about it.  I said, I came in here with a good attitude.  I can't let this one person take that from me.  This person is clearly in a bad mood, I am in a good one.  We are operating on different frequencies.  I can stoop to their level, but it will take work for them to get to mine.  I had to go into prayer mode, I said "Lawd, take this burden from me.  From thinking about it because it is not constructive....it is keeping me from doing my absolute best at work and operating in my highest self.  In all actuality, it is really not that serious." If someone talks to you a certain way, it is not really about you.  It becomes about you in the manner that you handle it.  If you lose your cool and get all out of whack (I should have went HAM) then that shows you have no control over yourself (at that time).  Someone else came in and controlled your emotions for you.  To get past that, I prayed, but on the real, that came after I envisoned the many ways I will tell her "F" you." The point is, is not that I didn't have the thoughts of where she can get off at.  I choose not to act on them lol.  And they are probably not bad thoughts, totally rational maybe, but I am in control of me.  I choose not to let someone else put me in a funk for the rest of the day.  I walked away from the situation and I let it go...but I still had to write about it.
establishing your own rules

Life As It Is

woman standing on beach, watching sunset, holding sun   Ok, so according to myself at 13 years old, by my current age of 25 I would be married with 2 kids, working in my dream career, have a nice house, the wardrobe and take vacays all year.  What a silly little ho I was lol? But with age comes understanding, hopefully.  At age 13, 25 was so far off.  It was like reaching the end of the rainbow...I would be over the hill just about.  At this age, I would have everything figured out.  I didn't quite understand that life does not always work out as you planned and that ish is bound to come up.  Be ready...Be warned. So, I found that upon reaching 25 that I began to wonder.  Damn self, I have none of these things that I thought that I would have.  Why life? Why? Why? Why? My realization-->I still had some growing to do.  Also noteworthy is that upon turning 25 I began to change immensely.  I mean the change was so radical and drastic that everyday I seen it happening.  I changed my views on things, I challenged my beliefs and formulated my own opinions of who I am internally.  I called this incident my Quarter Life Crisis-->Read about the mini melt down here http://sherockinspired.com/quarter-life-crisis/   Anyhoo, probably one of the best lessons I learned was to hold on to my dreams while letting them go.  To me that means to keep goal setting/ having things to accomplish and aspire to, but at the same time realizing that some things that I hoped for may no longer serve me and holding on to it may hinder me from my greater purpose....which is your biggest dreams times 10. This post is no attempt to discourage goal setting.  It is simply a plea to not put pressure on yourself to arrive at certain milestones in life.  We are all obsessed with the future and not enjoying our present.  We are in competition with others and racing to get there faster and better than others and our time is slipping away. I think the source of many people's unhappiness is that they don't think they are living the life that they planned as a little kid.  Ish just not working out, I can't catch no break, etc.  Most people established beliefs of who they will become at early ages and hold onto that.  While I am a major proponent for planning, I also understand that we grow and we change.  So, if we are holding on to ideals of how our lives should be at this point, we will not be satisfied with our reality. The funny thing about me missing my milestones is that I am happy with my life and my child's life.  I have learned to focus on my life as it is.

The Starring Role In Your Life Is Not For The Extras!

Starring Role

Ladies, how many times have we given an extra the starring role in our life? I mean without really getting to know him and thinking to ourselves "he is nice, he must be the one for me."  Or maybe we don't actually say it, be we act as if he is very early on.  Ever notice that often times it goes down hill from there? Lol.

Allow me to break it down:

Women, by nature are nurturers of others and generous in giving of ourselves to those dear to our hearts.... That is a great thing that God instilled in us to care  for our babies, but if used improperly can cause us a lot of heartache and heartbreak.  For example, our strong nurturing instincts, if not used properly will cause us to stay in an unhealthy situation.  We will hover around for days for a dead plant’s (relationship) resurrection.....I think this can fit in being on the dating scene and many of us are guilty of giving an extra the starring role in our life.

I know of women, myself included, who would treat just about every guy we dated (and liked AND sometimes I didn't like them THAT much) as husband material when they were not deserving of that type of treatment.  This would tie into women not having a relaxed approach when it comes to dating.  We are so bombarded with pressure to find someone AND also the issue is mainly because we lack something in ourselves.

So we look for it in others and think that by treating a person, any person, as such we would receive what we want.  I know it is right to do unto others....but I think that only applies if what you are giving comes from a pure place.

I can remember in my life when I would go out with a guy and become so enthralled in what he was giving.  Now some might say that they was just running game, true, but in order for that to happen you have to have a willing participant--which I probably was but anyhoo!

 I would treat the guys good-cook, sex, just do stuff I shouldn’t have....And what I realized later in retrospect is that I wasn’t really that into them, I really just wanted somebody and what they were giving.  That's some lonely s***!  What I've come to realize is that I was giving an extra the starring role in my life because I just wanted somebody, hell anybody, to fill that void of not truly loving myself.

If you think about it, in Hollywood when directors are casting for a starring role in a movie they look for the perfect person for the role and do not settle until they find who they are looking for.  The extra roles are easy to fill and basically anybody can fill those roles.  The starring actor gets the trailer and perks.  The extras just sit on the set and wait for the star to come on set so they can begin filming.

Become a sort of director of your life.  Of course God should lead your life, but He gives us free reign in decision making.  So with that freedom requires a keen skill of discernment.  This advice applies to men as well.  Be more stringent in your requirements for people-men, to be in your life and enjoy your success! Let the starring role in your life be from perfect casting.

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.

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