CURRENTLY BROWSING : Direct your life
establishing your own rules

Establishing Your Own Rules

Life As It Is Many women are living  in a box. We grind day in and day out and don't have time to experience the new. For many women, our day consists of getting up around 6am, getting ourselves (and kids) dressed, driving to school then work, work from 9a-5p, come home to cook from scratch, clean up, do homework and then sleep. This is done every week and leaves little time for healthy living. Where is the time to cook a nutritious meal when I am tired and the drive thru lane is not crowded? When do I have time to workout when I just worked 9 hours, my kids have to eat and the gym doesn't have child care services? I would like to attend that new event that I was invited to but I  am just too damn tired! My personal care has definitely suffered and I don't feel as vibrant and alive as I used to. My days are just crashing into each other and I can no longer tell day from night. Everyday feels like that damn scene from the Groundhog Day movie. Then there is the pressures on the job to perform well and the many personal issues one must tend too. These pressures are for many women both single and married. This is because things such as childcare arrangements, cooking and cleaning are still viewed as womanly jobs. When a child is sick, the woman is more likely to have to take off work. When she gets home, mom, is more likely to be expected to keep a clean house and cook a five course meal. Because a woman that can't keep a clean house and/or cook is not a real woman. Those ideas came about when a woman's job was to take care of home. But now women are expected to do it all and do it well. So how does a woman find balance in this world? How does she work, cook nutritious meals, clean, have a bubbling social life, keep her marriage/relationship hot, have great, wonderful, amazing sex, go to church (or other worship), attend school, keep her body Beyoncé tight and look wonderful, have days where she does absolutely nothing, and raise her kids? She doesn't. One of these things will most likely suffer. I think the big issue is societal expectations of women. Women are expected to do it all, be all and look great doing it. And many women have accepted that and internalized that notion as well. We are expected to hold on to traditional customs such as cooking and cleaning while taking on new customs such as working and progressing in our careers. I have said this before and will say it again. Woman, set your own standards. Be your own person. Establish your own rules and abide by them. We can't be everything to everyone. When we put ourselves first, everything else will be taken care of. Muah!
Walking Away, Letting Go

Breaking Free From The Past

Walking Away, Letting Go Women are in a war. We have many issues that we deal with. Insecurities from childhood that whispered to us that we were not pretty enough. Low self esteem and lack of confidence that told us we weren't good enough.  Struggles with weight, anger, hurts, un-forgiveness, rejection, inability to break free from poverty, teen pregnancy, single parenting or sexual abuse. Unbeknownst to us, many of the issues and or problems that we have are not our own. We have inherited the issues and problems that our mothers, grandmothers and ancestors had. They have now become our own because it is what has been taught to us. In essence, it is all we know. The issues can be referred to as a generational curses. Too often, I have witnessed and experienced a generational curse. In my life it has been a teen pregnancy in which my grandmother dealt with, my mom dealt with, my sister dealt with as did I.  Or it could be the idea of living paycheck to paycheck as I witnessed in my life. Never having enough to last or just plain mismanagement of funds. Or as I look out at a friend whose mother unknowingly conceived her with a married man, only for my same friend to (unknowingly)have a child with a man that was taken as well. How does this happen as my friend was VERY aware of what happened with her mother and father. The same thing happened to her. I believe that this happened to my friend because knowing the situation, her mother did not give her a full understanding of self worth. She was supposed to instill in my friend that despite that her father was an unavailable man, that she was still worthy. Instead my friend knew her father was unavailable and guess what? She was attracted to men that were unavailable. As for my friend and I, as we have grown, we have come to realize the chains that must be broken over our families. We cannot continue to bring lack, pure dysfunction, a poverty mindset or broken families into our lives. It is not natural because we are supposed to be abundant in all of our endeavors. We are not supposed to hurt generation after generation and continue to perpetuate that then say God is good. God wants us to be loosed from many things and to let our families shine, not struggle. We are made for greatness and owe it to our families. We must examine our lives and look at our weak spots. Do we have low self esteem? Do we go from man to man hoping to fill a void and seek completeness? Do we not go after what we want because we feel inadequate? If so, take a break and fill your cup up. Look back at your mother's life and grandmother. Ask them honest questions about their fears, hopes and dreams. If they accomplished them how? If not, what was the reason. If you can't talk with them, look at their lives from what you know. For our true thoughts are always revealed in our actions. We can see what mom and grandma thought about themselves from how she carried herself. Examine your present by breaking free from the past to enhance your future. Muah!    

4 Ways To Get What You Want In Life

Blog pic 3 A closed mouth don't get fed, boo. Yes, I am writing a blog post on getting what you want in life....Yes, some grown women needs to hear this. Why? Many times in life we as women shortchange ourselves. We don't go after what we want or we accept crumbs that are given to us without challenging, questioning or discussing it. We let others tell us what we are worth. Don't believe me? Look at the gender pay gap. Yes, a big portion of that can be some sort of discrimination in terms of wages towards women but there is another side to the coin. It is proven that women do not negotiate (ask) for what they want nearly as much as men do. Women don't even apply for jobs they feel unqualified for. A man with comparable credentials will apply for the same job in a hot second. Many women, although very responsible and aggressive in the lives of those we care about, take a passive stance in our own lives. We dream big, but don't go after it. We want more from our relationships, but are afraid to ask. We want more money on the job, but don't feel like we are worth it, just yet. I have had too many friends offer their services for free because they didn't want to ruffle any feathers. Guess who felt crappy in the end? So how do we overcome this? I say "we" because clearly this is something I have struggled with. In my own experience, I have taken jobs that I was clearly overqualified for and underpaid for. And don't even get me started in my relationships lol. I would take the job and watch as people who didn't have the degrees and or same experience make the same amount as me and have the same responsibility. So where did I eff up? Taking a stroll down memory lane would reveal some insecurities and lack of confidence in self. I can't quite pinpoint the exact situation but I am sure it involved either someone yelling or laughing at me. (Sighs) The stuff you hold on to. Most importantly, what path did I take from a passive person in my own life, to calling the shots? Here is what I came up with. 1. Working out the issues from my past that caused me to believe that I was unworthy of what I asked for. This can take awhile and can be a bit painful. Everyone has hang ups and many of our hang ups are created in our younger years. You owe it to yourself to heal from the past. 2. Now replace those past negative ideas with confident mantras or affirmations. Just how negative beliefs are reinforced through repetition, so are the positive ones. To gain more confidence try saying positive affirmations. For example," I am confident" works much better than "I will be confident." There is power in the little words "I am." 3. Focus on your strengths and greatness. Everybody has them. It can be as simple as an infectious smile that makes people want to be around you. Focusing on your strengths enable you to grow in confidence and gives you something to be proud about. 4. Ask. How will others know what you want if you don't open your mouth? Make your intentions known boo. The worst thing that can happen is that you will get a no. Maybe a hell no. It won't hurt you. No one has power over your life except for the power you give them. Be bold, be firece, be spirit, be light. Now speak up!

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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