He was sophisticated. I was natural. He didn't like that shit lol.
I met, let's call him Brandon like his real name is. Fuck him lol.
He was an older, professional guy and had me on a damn thin ass string that I wouldn't let break. He was hot and cold. He would go away, I would get sad. Always trying to think of ways to get him back. *Facepalms for 1 hr*
He would come back around and I would make sure that I was looking as delicious as my budget afforded. I would go buy new panties, just in case some ish went down lol and make sure my hair was on point. I was soon to find out he was very particular about hair. In the midst of the "off-season" when I wasn't on his roster lol, I cut off my hair. A sweet little 22-year-old with a TWA (teeny-weeny afro). I was so proud! I felt liberated from my perm and could do whatever with my hair. Brandon calls a few weeks later.
You coming over?
*Throws attitude with him first*
I get over to his house, yes, I know, and he looks at my hair with an almost disgust.
You are natural, you cut your hair?
Yes, do you like it?
Why didn't I leave then? Oh, I know why, teehee lol
So once again, the off-season came early. He called a couple of weeks later and asked to see me. Cool, I can do that. Mind you my self-esteem is somewhere in the sewer beneath my house lol. Brandon asked me this question as a sort of prerequisite before seeing him:
"Do you still have your hair in that afro?"
*I touch my growing fro like a pregnant woman touches her belly. But its mine? I am natural. It's my hair. It grew out of my head.*
No, I don't have my hair natural. It is straightened. It's not so much the hair. I wanted to see him. In my mind that was bae, and he was dangling me. How did I let myself stoop so damn low. I was willing to lie about who I am to be with someone who wasn't choosing me regardless if that shit was in an afro or wet and wavy.
We set a date to meet, I immediately scheduled an appointment with the Dominicans.
Date time comes, he never calls.
Ha! Universe had a lesson for my ass. First of all, never alter yourself to appease to someone else. However, there is a difference between making yourself appealing to others which is fine. But it is when you are not being true to yourself that it becomes an issue. When you would go to great lengths to please someone who can give a rats ass. Secondly, why wasn't he dropped sooner? I felt like he was a rarity. He was special. That doting should have been extended to my damn self.
Been there, not going back.