Sex, Salmon and Situationships

Hello Monday-My Body Is My Own

I've never felt like my body was my own. "Girl, whet?" Allow me to explain. Ever since I can damn remember I was taught that how I dress, how my appearance is, hair, face, body looks is all to appease a man. To snag a man.  Being at a man's discretion. As if women have no power and that we all have to fight for attention of one bum ass man lol. I have had men just straight up feel like they were entitled to the pleasures of my body and to be in the presence of my beauty. Yea, I said beauty lol. But seriously, if y'all are chilling and he wants to try and you say no. Then he tries again like 5 mins later. It's like, how dare I say no or maybe she didn't mean NO no? Yes, this happens and often (not to me anymore). I've always felt like a piece of meat almost.  How damaging is that to young girls to feel this way? That all of our end goals is to get a man. Eat cornbread to get thick cuz Brandon likes ass lol. Relax your damn hair, because some men don't like natural hair. Or when you are single it is "always make sure you look good when you are going out because you never know when you will meet a man." Or the mindset I had as a non-committed woman going to the gym. If I'm single, you can't keep me out the gym. My tits must be perky (well as much as they can get lol) and my ass motto: You can never do too many squats! I think I spent the majority of my time working my ass out lol. But guess what happened when I got a man? I stopped going to the gym and gained 20 pounds. Like, to hell with my health I's got a man now! Nothing else matters! Goal accomplished! You see the problem with that? Allow me to break it down. If you don't do shit for yourself, it will fall away at the wayside easily. Your appearance should not be tied into receiving male attention and getting a man. It should be because you want to do it. You want to look good and your health is a top priority. Because guess what happens if you don't get that attention. You began to question yourself. "Bish, I got my sew in with my Peruvian Wave, my face is beat, I've been working out non-stop for 2 weeks straight, and my outfit is on point. I know he seen me and still not hitting me up." It's a hard realization to know that you can be someone who is known for being "confident" but that you been faking the damn funk. I appreciate looking good and attention is nice, please don't get me wrong, but I have had to make some personal adjustments in my motives. It is time that I do things for me and do it my way. Not for the approval of others. Muah!


What you mean give myself a break I have bills due. I want to find a man so I can drop these babies, I'm not getting any younger. I have to find the perfect job and bring in the bucks.  If I don't do it, who else will? I feel like we spend so much of our time in a hurry or always having our minds preoccupied with something. When do we rest? I mean, yes we may get sleep, but when we are up, our minds are going a mile a minute. We have so much to keep us entertained, but find it hard to unwind because of all the stimulation. Anything you want to watch is on your jailbroke fire stick, cable tv, YouTube and Netflix. Then there is social media. Instagram is always popping and then there is family and friend drama on Facebook, sure to keep you entertained. I personally feel as if my attention span has gotten so short, that I don't know how to be bored anymore I can't even watch a little tv without having my phone in my hand. I am ready to switch my mode of entertainment as soon as a little boredom creeps in. It has gotten so bad that my 8 year old son has taken notice and requests that I put my phone down to spend time with him. How many times do we pick up our phones in a day? I feel like my brain is screaming for a rest. But so much of my work is on a phone! How do we strike a healthy balance? We feel left out if we aren't partaking in certain things. The world is moving pretty fast and no one wants to get lost, but please remember that it is ok to have a seat. To know that you are beat and tired, to recognize it and do something about it takes maturity. We have to be in charge of our sanity and stop looking to things to fill a void. Especially our generation we are chasing so many things such as materialism, an image, status etc and at the end of the day those things really don't matter. We want our lives to be as "normal" yet better than others, so we put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve it. Men don't worry about marriage as young and as often as women do! We don't want to be over 30 and childless and manless because we know that people are going to start asking dumb ass questions. But take the pressure of others off yourself. Decompress and live this life as best as possible. Find what ways work best for you. Whether it's exercise, prayer, dance, writing, singing or sleeping the day away enjoy the time you set aside for yourself to release. There are no definite rules for your life. Chill and release. Muah!


I am always sitting around and thinking hard, so this past weekend, my mind was spinning with epiphanies. via GIPHY I realized that I never really did things for myself or somewhere along the way, self-care was put on the back burner. I discussed this in my last blog post, but I still have a desire to write about it. Another thing I realize is that I have a chameleon like personality. Meaning that whatever environment I am in, I adapt to it. Which can be a good thing, but on the other hand, not so much. I am an Empath. I take on others feelings and moods and adopt them as my own. I especially noticed this with the men in my life. Whatever their personality is, I take on bits and pieces of it. And not in a "yes girl" sort of way, but just that I feel feelings so deeply, that it is hard not to flow unto me. So can you guess what happens here? Oh lets see: Loss of identity. When you become so intertwined with someone else, you kinda lose sight of the things that interest you and your goals. You are stuck up under bae, while your goals are collecting dust. I honestly don't know why this happens. Maybe it is an insecurity I have that needs to be addressed, but addressed it is. Also, I realized this weekend as I spoke with a friend is that we wasted so much of our 20's being boy crazy. Wondering when we would get "chose." Just craving that male attention because of a void that so desperately needed to be filled. We should have filled it on our own. There is no way in the world the idea of whether a guy liked me or not should have consumed my inner workings most urgently. In my early twenties friends were: Baby mommas, myself included, being cheated on and taking him back, cosigning for things, and on and on and on. And this is not to diss relationships! Relationships are beautiful things. I'm just making an observation of how young we were and worried about the wrong things. Men do not worry about the things that we worry about. As little girls we would imagine our wedding and our dress. We would do anything to get to the point and almost anyone fits that bill as long as they show some sort of promise. I am getting away from this. I want to care, but I also want to care more about the person who has been down for me forever and forever will be. The person who always has my back and is always there. That person is my damn self. It is imperative to put yourself first. How can you truly love and care for others from an empty well? It is time to replenish myself, so I can care for others. Muah!  


I'm sitting here wondering, "why haven't I taken my seat at the M'fing table?" You know that damn seat where you just take and not ask if anyone is sitting here? And if someone was sitting there, oh the hell well, I'm here now and my ass sits better in this seat? This is a very tough question to ask yourself. Why am I underemployed with degrees and intelligence out the ass? Or for you it may be grabbing the crumbs he drops for you in the relationship, or letting people handle you any kind of way? Why is it some women aren't afraid to take that seat and many women are too timid to claim what is theirs? Where is she? The old Robinette that used to keep it popping? Idk, maybe that was all in my head, but nonetheless, a very worthwhile question. I have been feeling quite "BLAH" lately. Not bad blah, but certainly not that juicy feel I used to get from life. Kind of like something is missing sort of feel. Shoes, clothes nor travel cures it. It's like that spark that gets you up everyday, y'all I haven't been living, rather just coexisting in the world of billions. Feeling like I blend in, when I have been destined to stand out. To be honest, I've been feeling very average since becoming a mom and my ego cannot handle it. My ego is like: Bish, do you know who the "eff" you are? Like seriously, I cannot with you all this time. Underestimating your damn self and not taking your seat at the M'fing table. I am about to go and be another chicks ego because you are blowing me." The crazy thing is although I want to stand out with my gifts and talents, I have been afraid. Because me using my gifts and talents require a certain level of boldness and confidence that I have been severely lacking in. Like I can't do it. Im still under the umbrella of my parents although my dad has passed on. I realized that in order to step out, I am on my own. I have to put myself on front street and possibly be rejected! Why do I still feel like 17 year old Robinette that was not sure of herself and her dopeness? Or I can't accomplish these beautiful ass dreams that I have. My confidence lately has not been the strongest. To be honest, it hasn't been in some time. I have gained a couple of extra sexy pounds lol and its been easier to get out the house because I don't put as much effort in. I just think of my old days of how I would dress up any where I would go. It's like life has worn me down and I am feeling it. I don't feel that extra sexiness and umph that I used to have. Self-care has become my son care, my bf care, money care, bill care, car care and I am last. I have failed to fill up in the self-care lane and am running on E. I am searching for answers on the outside, but I know that the answers won't come from there.  I now see the importance of putting yourself first. The truth is that I have everything that I need to get things accomplished and being better than I once was. I don't have to look back and you shouldn't either. There is nothing behind you but space and lost chances. What is before you is new and better opportunities. Also, it is ok to be afraid. Have you ever felt like this? Afraid to step out? You think that you don't have the skills to be accomplished? Or that others are more talented so why bother? Then only to sit on the side lines and watch 1 year pass and then 2 years and so forth? Let me make this clear to you: Declare this day that you will do it anyway. That it is ok to feel fear, but you don't have to feed into it. God has given us too many dreams and He has equipped us with the gifts/talents to get the goals accomplished. Don't look in someone else's lane! You have to focus on you and your goals and the people you need to reach. Muah!
Powerful Reminders

4 Powerful Reminders For Everyday Life

We all wish we had a guide for life. A guide that tells us exactly where to turn, which decision to make, where to go to school, which job to take or who to marry. We often times ask for direction and expect a loud booming voice to tell us yay or nay. For those who live and not under a rock, we've learned that life is not that clear-cut. Life takes us to places we want to go and places we may not want to go. But there are some things that are tried and true. Things or powerful reminders that we have to nudge us to where we want to go. Or to just simply help us on the way when we don't know where we are going. Here are my list of powerful reminders to assist you. 4. Life is truly what you make of it. Life will happen to you, but only by a stroke of luck will it give you exactly what you want. You have to pray and work and explore to get those things and experiences that you want. Want to get in shape? Guess what? You have to go to the gym. Want to be debt free? You may have to sacrifice some things temporarily to get to that point. The point is, you have to take a more proactive approach to live the life you want. 3. You are stuck with you, so get used to it. Want to get away from yourself? Good luck with that! Everywhere your ass go, there your ass is. Sometimes we want to escape a past experience or a past decision and believe that we would be much better if we can separate from that and live the life we want. Experiences make us unique and make us, well us. We shouldn't try to be someone else or wish our lives to be like theirs. We live so vicariously through others that we forget to live in our present bodies. This is the only chance we get. There are no do overs. 2. Beauty and style can really only get you so far. You know how many baddies there are? Especially nowadays with the beat faces and affordable clothing, that's a dime a dozen. Those things can very much get you there, but personality and intelligence will keep you there. I've learned to present myself in my best light, but to also put just as much effort into the intangibles. 1. If you don't ask, you won't receive. This doesn't mean that you will receive every time you ask. But it does relieve you of the guilt of not asking and feeling like ish for not asking. So many women don't ask. For fear of being told no, not wanting to be a burden, or not feeling deserving. Let's change that mindset and ask for the things that we want in life. A "NO" is the worst that can happen. Ok, maybe a "Hell No" and a laugh is the worst, but still you get my drift lol. But please take these and apply them to your life. We all want to be the best we can be. Muah!
Carefree moment

Women’s History Month Playlist

There are times where we may need a pick me up. Especially us women, gosh we juggle so much. One of my stress relievers is listening to music. Music is very soothing and comforting to the soul.  Depending on the song, it can alter your mood. Pick the right song, and you can pick up your mood. Music tells a story and inspires you to take on the world. Here is my Women's History Month Playlist. Enjoy! 1. (Who) Run The World Girls-Beyonce 2. I'm Every Woman-Whitney Houston/Chaka Khan 3. A Rose Is Still A Rose-Aretha Franklin 4. Not Anymore-LeToya Luckett 5. Gangsta Boo-Where Dem Dollas At 6. No Time-Lil Kim 7. Pretty Girl Rock-Keri Hilson 8. The Velvet Rope-Janet Jackson 9. Gotta Be-Desiree 10. Until It's Gone-Monica 11. Still Standing-Monica 12. Lose To Win-Fantasia 13. Respect-Aretha Franklin 14. A Woman's Worth-Maxwell 15. Diamonds and Pearls-Prince 16. Conqueror-Estelle 17. Let It Flow-Toni Braxton 18. Exhale-Whitney Houston 19. Take Me As I Am-Mary J. Blige 20. Feeling Myself-Nicki Minaj/Beyonce 21. What's Love Got To Do With It-Tina Turner 22. Unpretty-TLC 23. Not Gon Cry-Mary J. Blige 24. She Got Her Own-Neyo/Jamie Foxx/Fabolous 25. Grown Woman-Beyonce 26. Stronger-Britney Spears 27. Shake It Off-Mariah Carey 28. Independent Women, Pt 1-Destiny's Child 29. Believe-Cher 30. Diamonds-Rihanna 31. Bossy-Kelis      

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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