2018: The Year Of Your Glo Up

Happy New Year Bishes! 2017 is gone and never to be seen again. It may not have gone so well or maybe you made the promises of all the things you will do better from 2016, and didn't do shit. Whatever it was, it is gone and the fresh start begins. Now granted, you don't have to wait until a whole new year to implement a change, but dammit, something about the new year just makes you feel all fresh. I think people are starting to realize that time is flying by and we can't keep dreaming of all of these lofty goals without IMPLEMENTING them. Take action to get to where you want. Sitting around wishing (and hating on others lol) that goals will just accomplish themselves is not going to work. You know what else is not going to work? Half-assing goals. What do I mean by half-assing? You know when you KNOW you aren't 100 percent committed to a goal, but will do it and are indifferent on the outcome? You work on the goal when you feel like it, so long as it doesn't inconvenience you and your Netflix appointment. I am so guilty of this! But no more. Let this be your year to shine. I don't care if you have 1 damn goal set for this year, work until it is accomplished! Do not allow another year to pass and you fail to Glo Up your life. A Glo Up doesn't necessarily have to just be aesthetics. You can Glo Up in different parts of your life for example your finances, spirituality, relationally, or career wise. But assess any of those areas. Take out a sheet of paper a divide all of these categories and list 4 goals for each. Keep this paper in sight or in a notebook that you refer to periodically. Do things differently. Mediocrity is no longer accepted. Get to work on time. Go the extra mile at work. Even though you don't want to be there, be excellent while you plan your exit strategy. You should look back and see GROWTH! We can't continue on year in and year out and getting the same results. This is the time to realize your dreams. We have more than enough time and in the same breath, time is running out. You owe it to yourself to accomplish these goals.  They are calling you. Muah!

Your Vagina Is Not A Portal For Love, Your Heart Is: Teaching Your Daughters, Sisters, Nieces, Cousins and Friends

Oooh chile, I have been there. I have been taught that this is the crux of who I am...well that along with exterior beauty. That if I snatch it right, he will love me...if I do it often, he will love me and won't stray....if it gets wet enough, I don't have to worry about anything with us, all is well. Let's be honest, we all have received some bad advice from some well meaning women in our lives. "Don't let him give you a wet ass and dry pockets." LOL! Ok, so I understand what they were TRYING to say, but I also recognize that soooo much emphasis was put on a certain part of us. A part of our body. In a way it's objectification. I mean, what about the rest of me? My heart, my intelligence, my wittiness? And that's where so many girls get it wrong at. Not knowing all of these other wonderful things about themselves, they jump into sex WAYYYY before they are ready. Not because they really want to or know what the f*** they are doing, it's just that so much pressure is put on what we do with our bodies AND tie that into our relationship status. Even as a young girl, my friends and I were consumed with getting "Chose." And to our detriment, we learned (the hard way mind you) that the way to our heart is not through the vagina. And it damn sure isn't the way to his. But we would foolishly think that it is and go into the same scenario and get the same outcome. Confusion. Wayward d**k. I thought sex would lead to a commitment, tbh. But, oh no baby what is you doing?! We, as women, have been taught so much that what we do or decide not to do with our vaginas determine our worth. We are only labeled good girls if we keep it chaste. Bad girls, whores, hoes, slut, etc if we bed more than 1 in a lifetime. It's such a strange dichotomy in which we are praised for keeping the "good girl" image, yet on the other hand, sex sells. These strippers are raking it up! As a young girl, I can remember being taught that my worth is tied to my vagina. So naturally, as I began to deflower my damn self with the help of a cute young guy, I would feel less and less. (The guy would gain a stripe, I would gain a strike.) Because I was taught that's where my worth is, but what are these damn feelings I'm having? Aren't we responsible for making sure the guys like us? Well, according to society, many of a relationship's fails can often times fall on the woman. Sooo we must do whatever to ensure it's stability. Unbeknownst to us, our daughters, cousins, nieces etc are watching us. I would say to not instill in them that that is where there worth is. Yes, we learned it in church to hold onto our virginity, no shame in that, so long as no one is shaming someone that does decide to do it. Myself, friends, and family members have suffered from decisions in regards to their sexuality. Many women have been led astray to an adverse outcome that they hoped sex would bring them. Let's teach our young girls that they have worth and value in other places. Teach them whether they decide to abstain, or decide (after long thought and understanding of consequences) to become active, that they are both worthy. No one is better or less than the other because of their decisions. Most importantly, teach them that sex DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE. Your vagina is not a portal for love...your heart is. Muah!

Just A Thought

It feels as if I am finally getting some comfort and who I am as a person. I don't agonize over what others think of me as much. I take bold steps, even when afraid. I make my own decisions based off of what I feel is right for me. My 20's were a lot of learning and a lot of growing pains. But it was necessary. Diamonds are made from pressure.  I can't wait to see where this boldness will take me.   Muah!

Check Your Breasts! The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund

I recently attended The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund support group meeting and what an event it was! Breast Cancer is still an epidemic in our community, especially in terms of mortality. Learning the symptoms and being aware of changes in your body are the keys to early detection. Did you know that Breast cancer is more likely to be found at an earlier stage among white women than among black women? Overall, breast cancer incidence (rate of new cases) is slightly lower among black women than among white women. However, breast cancer mortality is higher in Black/African-American women. For example, from 2010-2014 (most recent data available), breast cancer mortality was 42 percent higher in black women than in white women. In addition, Black women are more likely than white women to get triple-negative breast cancer, a kind of breast cancer that often is aggressive and comes back after treatment. The work of the Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund is to spread awareness about breast cancer and making sure our community knows the importance of being up to date on our health. The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund's vision is to save lives and embrace and achieve a world community free of breast cancer. The Fund plans to realize this vision with guiding principles of respect, collaboration, quality and patient-centered care, culturally sensitive approaches, and evidence-based strategies. The organization's founder, Thelma D. Jones, a breast cancer survivor, fueled uncertainties about her diagnosis into making an impact on anyone who crosses her path. As a survivor, Ms. Jones responded to a life's calling and took on the responsibility of using her diagnosis to the greater good of her community and serving them in the best way possible: by educating others about their bodies. To speak about her personality, one of the kindest I have met and we are both Virgos, here to save the world! No wonder I felt an amazing kinship. A little more about The Thelma D. Jones Breast Cancer Fund, "The TDJ Breast Cancer Fund offers programs to address a need in the community and for which there is a demonstrated demand that will complement rather than duplicate the existing work of other organizations. This involves collaborations with other individuals and organizations on a year-round basis. In addition, we offer services that meet vital community needs that will have a broad impact by especially benefitting the historically less-served communities. The overall ultimate goal of our programs and services remain to empower residents to live healthier, take charge of their lives and reduce the burden of breast cancer in our communities for women, men and young girls." Also, did you know that August is Black Philanthropy Month? That is another topic that was discussed in the meeting. Black Philanthropy Month was created in August 2011 by both Dr. Jackie Copeland-Carson and the Pan-African Women's Philanthropy Network as an annual, global celebration of African-descent giving. The theme for 2017 is: Giving Voice to Fuel Change.

Themes from previous years include:

2016: Elevating A Culture of Giving

2015: A Season of Change

2014: Generosity At Home and Around the Globe

2013: Of Dreams And Mountaintops

Also attending the meeting was Tracey Webb, organizer of Black Philanthropy Month. Ms. Webb is the founder of Black Benefactors, "a giving circle based in Washington, DC that provides grants and in-kind support to Black-led organizations serving the African American community." Mr. Edward Jones, Executive Committee Member of Black Benefactors, was also in attendance and presented acknowledgements. Finally, we did a moment of silence to honor the late Kecia Nobles, who passed away from Cancer. Her family was in attendance and her presence was absolutely felt in the room. The Thelma D. Jones Fund is a great organization to get behind. To support the fund contact Thelma Jones, Founder and Board Chair, via email at Muah!

Keeping Your Faith Tight

We, myself included always talking about "keeping something tight." Whether it be our body, keep it right, keep it tight girl; our hair, Girl, allow me to gather these edges; or other ahem "things" tight lol. But, I rarely hear about people wanting to keep their faith tight or just actively working on it like we do our bodies. It's like we through caution to the wind and the storm pop up and we like WTF? We threw caution to the wind, working these fine bodies out, but neglecting our faith. Faith is that thing that will sustain you when your physical body is sick. Faith is what will keep you from jumping off a bridge because the pressures of the world is so much. Faith is what holds us at night when things are tough. And guess what? Things do get tough. There will come times in our life when we have to pick ourselves up. These are the times that we won't have anyone else to turn to and that's ok. For that is the time where we learn of our strength and how powerful we are. We most importantly learn how powerful God is. He can deliver us, but God is funny acting sometimes lol. He wants for us to see that in Him is who we should rely on. Not man, family, friends, jobs, money in the bank, etc. There is a storm for different lessons and some you can't pay your way out of. The only way out is through. Sometimes we must be isolated. We come out stronger, wiser, more sensitive to ourselves and the needs of others. However, it is in this time that is most difficult. Life looked so promising a month ago, damn what happened? But let me do like the Pastors say: I got a Word for you! Keep the Faith! Don't Waver. It is going to be ok. Things will be better on the other end then it was before. You are built for it. The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy, BUT my God! The enemy sees whats in our future and wants to discourage us from walking in our purpose to get our promise, but don't let him win. We are so close to the promise. Keep the faith!

Black Women Equal Pay Day: Run Me My Money

Today, July 31, 2017 is Black Women's Equal Pay Day. It means we as Black Women, must work 7 months into 2017 to be paid the same as White men in 2016. How sway you say? Yes, black women are at the bottom in terms of pay and wealth for that matter. What can you do with an extra $840,000? Well that is the income the Black Women lose in income as compared to a White man's salary over a lifetime. .63 cent to every dollar a White male earns is what a Black woman makes. Whenever we talk about the pay wage gap, it's usually talked about in terms of White women, but Black women are losing out even more. More than any demographic. It takes a Black Woman 19 months to earn what a White Man earns in a year! According to Myth #1: If black women worked harder, they’d get the pay they deserve. The truth: Black women work more hours than white women. They have increased work hours 18.4 percent since 1979, yet the wage gap relative to white men has grown. Over the last several decades, both black and white workers have increased their number of annual hours in response to slow wage growth. While men typically work more hours than women, the data reveal that growth in work hours, for both whites and blacks, was heavily driven by the growth of work hours among women. The increase in annual hours is particularly striking for workers in the bottom 40 percent of the wage distribution, where it has been driven almost entirely by women. Among lower paid workers, the growth in annual hours is larger for black women than for white women and men. This trend is particularly striking for the lowest wage workers. In the bottom fifth, annual hours for black women grew 30.1 percent (from 1,162 hours/year to 1,511 hours/year) between 1979 and 2015 compared to a 27.6 percent increase (from 1,086 hours/year to 1,386 hours/year) for white women and a 3.2 percent increase (from 1,553 hours/year to 1,602 hours/year) for white men. Working moms are significant contributors to this trend—half of all African American female workers are moms, as are 55.3 percent of Hispanic working women and 44.5 percent of white female workers – although women often face a wage penalty when taking time out of the workforce to care for children. While all moms are working more hours per year and contributing more to their households financially, African American working moms are uniquely central to the economic well-being of their families. Even when faced with the added demands on their time that come with having a family, in 2015, married black women with children worked over 200 hours more per year than married white or Hispanic women with children, and 339 hours more than black single mothers. Married black working moms also worked 132 hours more per year than childless non-elderly black working women. Myth #2: Black women can educate themselves out of the pay gap. The truth: Two-thirds of black women in the workforce have some postsecondary education, 29.4 percent have a bachelor’s degree or higher. Black women are paid less than white men at every level of education. The figure below shows average wages for white men and black women in 2016. As black women increase their educational attainment, their pay gap with white men continues to grow. The largest gap, of nearly $17 an hour, occurs for workers with more than a college degree. But even black women with an advanced degree earn less, slightly more than $7 an hour less, than white men who only have a bachelor’s degree.
 So what is the is the solution? Is there still a solution? I am not sure at this point.

About Me

Hi! My name is Robinette.

Founder & Editor

I am not a role model… just a messenger. Since I can remember, I have been in love with helping myself to do better and helping others.



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